Warning: harsh words & whining

Back home.....blah.  But at least the weather has improved since we left. Here is the absolutely, freaking bad news: I did all that hiking, sweating, huffing and puffing, for 12 days (well, at least most of them), and actually GAINED 3 lbs!  38 miles, counting the walking miles before we left AZ.  The 3 lbs I had lost in the previous 2 weeks of walking, jogging, huffing and puffing.  It FOUND me and wants me to give it a good and permanent home. Might even bring some friends.

Well, not this fat girl.  Once again, I'm staring at spring coming like a freight train and I've wasted January and February......not seriously losing any weight.  Do I want to see myself on one of those horses, rolls of fat, fat thighs, sweating like every fat girl does in summer heat?

I am monumentally pissed. Excuse my language, but this is riduculous. I began (again), as always, on Monday morning....start fresh, get serious, this time......yada, yada, yada.  And when I got to work, fresh off my oatmeal breakfast, there was a large bag of Valentine goodies with my name on it. One of our very sweet nurses always makes treat bags  for each of us for holidays.  Did I mention it's one of our skinny nurses?  I'm the only fat one.

And speaking of "the only fat one," that's the story of my life.  Well, except for the few years I was skinny around 2000, and the other scattered few years of normal weight, I'm always surrounded by skinny people.  If I am doomed to be fat for all time, can't some of them gain a few pounds???!!!!

Ok, that's it for today. I can sit here and write volumes of complaints and excuses, or I can get up and get to work on walking/jogging, starving, so that when I get on my horse, he doesn't think, "Hey! One at a time here!"

And yes, of course I ate the Valentine goodies.  Oatmeal for breakfast, oatmeal at McDonald's for lunch (we stop there after seeing patients at our satellite office, on the way back to see more patients at the regular office), then little (but many) Valentine goodies on the way home from work.  Sheesh. I'm an idiot.  A fat idiot.

But hell, I'm going to work on it.  Moab, here I come.